But that's a lie. No matter how much I know I should regret ever speaking to you in the first place, I don't. Because I'm that kind of a person. Two days ago you told me I ruined your life. You told me never to talk to you again. You told me I knew nothing about you, and that I'm just a scared little girl who can't wrap her head around anything. You told me you were going to have my ass beat.
You told me things that made me hate you, for a day at least. I allready want to tell you I'm sorry. I want to apologize for everything I said, and for not being good enough. But I can't. Because if anyone found out I did they'd bitch at me. But they don't get it. They don't get what kind of a person I am. They don't realize how much it takes for me to hate someone. How far I have to be pushed for me to realize how terrible they are. I don't work like everyone else. I can name people similar to me, but no one like me. I'm like a fucking dog. But then again, even dogs bite back.
I just want you to get me.
wow. i have heard those accusations time and time again, by someone who only used to say the opposites. the only reason he is saying those things is because he isn't happy with the way he took his life and so him lashing out at you, is actually anger he has towards himself.
ReplyDeleteit took me a long time to look at the situation like that.
and i am glad i did because i kept beating myself up about it.