1. I lied, I don't hate you. You just make me so angry. You're my best friend, and you're the closest I've gotten to anyone since Ashlee. I love you so much. I know I'm not showing it well at all, but I don't have any other choice. I can't just sit here and let you push me around anymore. If I do, then someday soon I will actually hate you, and I don't want that to happen. I miss you. I love you. I wish you would come back. And I wish you could keep secrets. I wish you wouldn't have moved in to my house. Everything would be different, but we'd still be friends. Gallagher told me I shouldn't let you live with me, but I didn't listen. He was right. I just want things to be different. If you wouldn't have gotten stuck behind, you would still be able to be my friend. But choices were made, and if you're really gone, then fuck. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
2. I love you too. And I wish you weren't leaving. And I wish I would wait for you. But I know I'm not going to. I allready stopped. You haven't even left yet, and I've stopped. I wish I knew what to do. I want to make the right choice. I'm going to cry for a long time. I shouldn't have pretended you didn't have to leave. I kept ignoring it, putting it off. Now I have to act as cold as ice in front of people so I don't break down. I look like a bitch, but it's easier than losing it in front of everyone who brings you up. It would be so much easier if you would just hate me. Break it off quickly, sharp and clean. But you want to be friends.
3. Why'd you have to pick now to be the time for you to let me know this. I've always liked you as a person. You were a good friend. Now everything's complicated. And he keeps getting angry, and you keep getting jealous. And I know I'm going to pick you, and not many people are going to like it. He knows too though, so maybe it's not as low.
No. It is just as low. Why am I doing this to myself. This isn't worth it. He is. You aren't.
Why can't this be easier.
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