Regretful truths.

If something happens to her, I don't know what I'll do. If she makes one wrong move, she could be gone. I'm really not sure I'd be able to live with that. I shouldn't have made him tell her the truth. Yes, no shit he shouldn't have done that. You don't kiss someone, when you're engaged, and when you know for a fucking fact that they don't want you to, to "prove a point". No, it doesn't work that way. But if I wouldn't have made him tell, she'd be fine. She'd be perfectly happy and content. Ignorance is bliss, though it's not ignorance she had, it was trust. She trusted him. She knew full and well what he was capeable of, but she trusted that he truely had grown up, truely changed. Even I believed it. I of all fucking people should know better than to believe a single word that rolls off his tongue. But I did, because that's what I do. Because I'm stupid and I believe that he "just wants to talk". He wants to help me. Bull. He has never helped me. Sitting there and spitting out all these things he thinks he knows about me.

"Remember, Sierra. Remember that night you cut yourself so bad? There were 157 on that arm and 198 on this arm."

Trying to prove to me you remembers everything.

Fuck you. I only had 169 the first night. One for every single day of Daniel's life I wasted. You were wrong. Yeah, there were more the night after, but I stopped counting. So don't pretend you know who I am. I am not the same stupid little girl who will still fall for you fake sincerity. You never cared. Ever. I have changed, unlike you. I have grown up, unlike you. So what if I have sex? So what if I smoke or drink or do anything at all? Don't tell me you don't do it. And either way, that is my choice. It's not like I'm being forced, every single thing I have done wrong, has been because I chose to do it. I don't need to change my friends. They do not define who I am. And neither do you. I don't want your help. And for the record, the reason I don't want your help is not because "I'm scared we're going to fall back in love with each other". Yeah right.

You can take your ability to cry on cue, and your hypocracy, and you can shove it.

If she's not ok...Ohhhhhh.