I don't know why I'm so terrified of going up to the college, but I am. I never thought I'd make it, nor wanted to. Not in my four years of being there have I EVER wanted to go. Today they tell me I have to go, and they call my mom so I can't refuse. Mom would never forgive me. She'd be so disappointed. And they used that to their advantage. They knew I wouldn't be able to decline if she was allready excited about it. But it just isn't fair. I don't want to go up there. I am scared. To the point where it makes me cry. Literally-cry. With real tears. I don't fucking know why, and it irritates me, but it happens every time I think about it.
I'm gonna be up there alone. With people who don't like me. And teachers I don't know. In buildings I'll get lost trying to find.
It figures I don't "succeed" until I only have one real friend at the school.
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